There's no happy switch...

Why is it people fucking expect me to just get in a happy mood like I can just flip a fucking switch??? I mean really, everyone that knows me knows about me being bi-polar and that it's just not that easy. Just because I'm on meds doesn't mean I don't have my bad days or weeks or months. The meds aren't a guaranteed fix all. I just wish people would back off when I tell them I'm not in the mood. If I wanna do something I'll let ya know and if not then just move on and do your own thing without me. My ex-boyfriend Scott used to always tell me to just get happy and deal with life and get over it. I don't know how many times I wanted to tell him "shove it up your fucking ass because it's not that fucking easy and if it was don't you think I'd have done that ages ago?". I just get really sick of it, just because some people can be happy all the time even when bad things happen doesn't mean I can. Yeah I have my good days but sometimes that's a rare thing. Anyway I'm gonna go take my sleeping pills and hopefully get a real night's rest.