- |09/11/2006 11:45 am
For starters as you may have already guessed, I'm no virgin and haven't been since I was 14 years old.
I have been pregnant once my senior year in high school, but I had a miscarriage when I was only about 2 months along.
I've been raped twice when I was a teenager, once when I was 15 and the other when I was 18.
I've been engaged to 3 people in my lifetime so far and never married.
In March of 2000 I found out I had cervical cancer and possibly uteran cancer. In mid March I had a procedure done called a conization to remove a cone shaped section of my cervix in hopes that it would remove all the cancerous cells. After I had healed from that they tested me again and there were still more cancer cells and it was moving up into my uterus. On Friday, October 13th of 2000 I had a hysterectomy to remove the rest of my cervix and my uterus. I am cancer free so far to this day thank God! I can no longer have children though but I do still have my ovaries so I'm not on hormone replacements yet. I find it a good thing now though that I can't have children because I just don't want to have any.
I have gone through a lot of rough things in my life. For the first 18 years of my life I was treated like shit by my father because he only wanted a son. I suffered a lot of mental and verbal abuse from him and some physical abuse. At age 15 I learned that I am manic-depressive which is something I got from him. A few years ago I also learned I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder due to all the stuff I had to deal with growing up with him since he was also manic-depressive and abusive. It wasn't until I was about 23 when he actually told me he loved me and was sorry for all the hell he put me and my mother through and asked for my forgiveness. As you may have read in my previous blog he passed about 3 1/2 months ago. Even though he was a cause of so much pain in my life I still loved him and it hurts knowing he's gone and I never got to tell him that I forgive him for it all before he died.
I've also gone through bankruptcy about 3 years ago and had my truck repo'd shortly before that, so my credit is shitty and I don't have my own transportation anymore.
Well that should be enough sharing for now and enough to scare off the those that can't handle such things. Take care everyone!!!