- |02/09/2008 10:14 am
Saturday, January 19, 2008
 | L o n e l y . . .
So I've had a lot of time to sit around and think since I've been sick this last week and been home pretty much alone this weekend. I'm not sure it's a good thing that I've had this much time to think so much but that's about all I can do. I really miss some of my old life. I never knew how good my carefree life was back then but when things went down hill I lost all that. I'm not sure who I am anymore or what I want in my life or what I want to do with my life. I do know that I'm very lonely. Yes I tend to complain about this quite a bit anymore but I am still lonely and single. I know I have my family and I have a few select friends I can count on to be there when I need someone to talk to. But there's other friends that just aren't there for me anymore unless they need something or someone to listen to them vent or whine. The loneliness just keeps building up inside of me and it's so heavy in my heart now. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've dealt with so many assholes in my life that sometimes it's hard for me to trust men. Plus that has made me so picky when it comes to men too that I just can't settle for less than what I want and what I feel is perfect for me. I don't know what else to do anymore. I feel like by the time I find the perfect one I'll be too old to care about sharing my little life anymore. I know finding a man that likes a strong, stubborn bitch that voices her opinion freely and doesn't mind taking control of everything will be extremely hard maybe damn near impossible but I'm still hopeful. |
lonely