- |07/28/2008 07:19 pm
So I was sitting here and I thought I'd try writing an update blog. I'm not sure what I want to write or where it'll all end up going but I'm trying anyway.
I've tried getting back out into the dating thing but it doesn't seem to be working well for me as usual. I get interested in someone and we chat for a couple weeks maybe then he disappears for a couple weeks and finally messages me to tell me he's found someone. Go figure, the 2 weeks of silence was pretty much a dead give away asshole!
Then there are the ones that are younger than I like to date(so under 26 years old) but they are cute or handsome so I think, okay if they think I'm that hot maybe I'll see what happens, maybe they're more mature than I think they are. But they just want me for their fantasy (fuck an older hot chick) dream. If I wanted just sex, I could get that anywhere and anytime and from someone much more experienced. That's not what I want, at least not all I want. I want a REAL relationship, something that lasts longer than 2 months and has more to it than just sex and chatting online.
Tell me why is it when a guy is interested he doesn't mind making the first initial contact but after that he for some reason expects the woman to do everything else to keep it all going??? Here's a hint guys: if you like a woman let her know by messaging her whenever you think about her, or call or text her, try to get to know more about her and who she is as a person not just what she looks like naked or close to naked. Hell put forth some effort, maybe even surprise her by sending her flowers or even just a card. Be more original than the "hey babe, how ya doing?" stuff.
And why is it men feel the need to cheat? I know women cheat too, I'm not saying we don't. But a man that is supposedly happy in a relationship or marriage and getting good/great sex on a regular basis from the woman….why does he need to look elsewhere?
As for things that are going okay in my life….well other than I finally got the friends buying what was my father's house from me to get caught up on payments and pay me regularly and on time….nothing else good to report.
Some of you already know that my parents' shop had major financial problems and was forced to shut down for good the end of March this year. For me that means no more income not that I was actually getting paid most of the time anyway. We still have a few vehicles left to finish that we had started for customers before closing the business but all that money goes straight to the supply bills and the business loan. I get nothing, my parents get nothing. I wish I didn't have to help do any of it but my stepdad can't do it all by himself, his eyes-hands-knees-back are all too bad now to continue doing it alone. So mom with her bad shoulders-migranes and I with my bad shoulders-neck-back-allergies have to pitch in and do a lot for him. Not fair I know, it was his business and he's the only one that wanted it, but that's life and family and it's got to be done or we could chance losing our house.
Then there are my "fair-weather" friends…the ones that only talk to me when they want something, need something, or have no one else to bitch to about something fucked up in their life. Why is it I'm important enough then and only then to be your best friend but not any other time? Sure people grow older, things change in their lives, they get busier and different jobs…but does that mean the friendship has to get put on the back burner until something is so fucked up that only I can listen to it and help you through it? Don't get me wrong I truly care about all my friends, and I love my close friends like family, but things like that just make me feel meaningless and used. I've had friends that have gotten married and never bothered to tell me or invite me and I don't find out until like 3 months later when they complain to me about their "wife" or "husband". It's like damn I really am not important enough of a friend for you to even remember to include me somehow in something that's supposed to be a special time in your life. I've also have friends that don't tell me they're pregnant or their girlfriend is pregnant until after the baby is already born and like 4 months old, "oh hey by the way I have a son and he looks just like me". Gee didn't you think you could have told me that when you first found out? I just don't understand people anymore. Sometimes it makes me want to become a hermit, but I don't get out much anymore anyway so I'm not sure what else could make it worse. I really wish I had the money to just move far away, maybe start a whole brand new life somewhere and never look back at those people who can't seem to make time for me and our friendship.
lonely
curious
confused
lazy