More sadness and grief...

• |07/25/2006 08:53 pm

Today we buried my uncle. He was 49 years old. From what I've been told by my cousins and other family he probably passed away like my father. No one had heard from him for at least 5 days and when the police found his body in the home it was bloated and already out of rigor. They had to have a closed casket memorial ceremony. Since I didn't have a service for my father it really hit me hard today and my heart goes out to my cousins Aubrey and Sarah in their time of grief. I know what they are going through and I know what they will be facing in the months to come. But our fathers are both in a better place now, no longer suffering in physical or emotional pain and someday we'll see them again when it's our time to enter that beautiful place above. I may not have been that close to my uncle but I loved him still because he was my cousins father and a good man in his own way. He will be missed. It's hard to see them go through this, they're younger than me, Aubrey graduated from high school last year and is getting married August 26th, Sarah is going through college for nursing and still has a couple years left, so they both have so much more growing up to do. The hardest part is not knowing what happened and not being able to say goodbye before they passed away.

Another update...

• |07/15/2006 12:53 pm

Well things have calmed down for a bit so far. I was able to talk things out with my mom and I'm able to stay living with them for a while longer until things get settled with my father's death certificate, his house, and my back wages. Once that's all taken care of then I will move out and get another job.

Thank you to those friends who actually showed me they truly care about me and my well being during the last few weeks, I truly appreciate you all!

Welcome to my fucked up life...

• |07/04/2006 04:35 pm

Well here's an update for you all that give a shit...

As you all have probably read previously my father died just over a month ago. Well I've been very busy with all his shit from the house and stuff. My best friend Autumn and her boyfriend are going to rent to own the house from me. Just after this got decided and they started working on cleaning up the house so they can move in because they're about to get evicted from their apartment but things get worse for me. I am currently unemployed since I've been putting so much of my time into all this other stuff. So on Saturday when Autumn and I come back over after having my mom watch Autumn's son for 3 hours my step-dad decides it's time to show his true colors again and starts accusing me of shit that never happened because Ken said it did. So that started a big arguement which lead very quickly into a physical fight in which I won after bloodying his nose and knocking his new glasses off his face. Then he proceeds to tell me that I'm nothing but an ugly fatass white bitch who can't do anything for myself and I have nothing but white trash friends who use me and stab me in the back and all this other hurtful bullshit. The fight starts to wind down and he tells my mother she needs to start saying something to me and that she needs to kick me out. My mother responds by saying she can't choose between her daughter and her husband and don't make her do that cuz he'll lose. Well he keeps pushing it and she tells him fine the get the fuck out, just leave, I'm sick of it leave. Of course he doesn't think she's serious so he keeps on going, mean while Autumn and her son are outside and can hear every word that's being said. Finally I had enough after I calmed down a bit and just walked out the door because I needed to take Autumn home and stuff. So I came home late enough that night that everyone was asleep, took a couple sleeping pills and a 500mg aleeve. So Sunday I got up and around and went over to my dad's old house to start cleaning up more. I came home around 9:30ish and mom came in and told me I needed to find a place to live because she doesn't want to lose Monte. I informed her I thought it was really shitty of her to do this after already saying she'd never kick me out or choose him over me. I also told her she could do so much better if she'd divorce him and that Autumn even knows a great guy her age to set her up with. So didn't care, Monte's got her so broke down emotionally that she thinks she's ugly and can't do shit right and stuff like that, just the way my dad did to her until she divorced him. Well after mom and I's short conversation I called Autumn to tell her what happened and her and her boyfriend Shiloh told me to live with them and of course they'll still continue to pay me the rent and such and I don't have to contribute anything unless I want to after I get a job. So since I had gotten a storage unit for dad's stuff until I could have a sale I am now using it to store my stuff until the house is ready for us all to move in to. What really pisses me off is I had just dished out over $1300 in a month to pay their bills and other things but apparently none of that was good enough for Monte but I'm sure he's enjoying still having cable and internet and new shorts and shoes and food to eat and a cell phone and all that other nice stuff I paid for.

Well I think that's pretty much the jist of it all so far, as things progress or whatever I'll keep y'all updated when I can. It may be a little while until I have internet after I get moved though so if you have my cell # and are worried enough about me just give me a call. I'll be glad to hear from ya.

****HUGE HUGS TO ALL THOSE THAT TRULY CARE ABOUT ME****