Ya know sometimes I REALLY hate being me. People tell me things I don't wanna know and I have to keep secret anyway. Then there's people that stab me in the back while stabbing my friends in the back too. Then there's all the ones that cheat and I know what's up but I'm supposed to keep it hush hush or not let them know that I actually know. Then my own fucked up situations I keep getting myself into. And all that on top of the whole dad situation.
Then the Josh thing, I think I'll be talking to him again Thursday only this time I actually think I'll take him outside to talk so no one can interfere. I think there's still something wrong because he called Becca Saturday and told her they were bowling and I assume asked her to come out there, now her boyfriend Anthony who is Josh's good friend lives in Salina now, anyway during the phone call she told him she was at a family thing and he must have asked about me cuz she said I was sitting right next to her. Well we left the dinner early cuz she said she had a headache plus wanted to go shopping. So we went shopping and then she asked if it was ok if she just took me home cuz her head was hurting and she wanted to go to bed. But I talked to Nate who was out there at the bowling alley and he said she was out there, so she dropped me off at home which is out south of Topeka then drove clear up north to go watch them play even though she had a "migrane". That makes no sense to me and makes me wonder what the fuck is really going on between her and Josh. I personally wanted to go to the bowling alley cuz she said Josh said Nate was there and I haven't talked to him in a while so I wanted to catch up on things and inform him about what was going on about my dad.
Man I really need a vacation away from everyone and everything. Too much drama and too much stress, it's no wonder I've gone nuts.
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