hrmmm

Well yesterday didn't start out too well for me, I was in a pissy mood but then Becca talked me into going shopping with her because she had to return something to Kohl's. She is the sweetest thing, she had absolutely no reason to, in fact I kept trying to talk her out of it, but she bought be the cutest halter top and it looks really cute on me. =o) Now normally I wouldn't be a halter top person but I'm trying to bring my feminine side back out since I've been more the tomboy type after working in a paint and body shop for the last 3 years. Hanging around her is making me more aware of how I should look especially when cruising for men. And speaking of men, Josh and I had a brief conversation on the drive back to his place last night after they bowled. He told me he hasn't dated anyone since he was like 14 and doesn't want a relationship or to date. That seems really odd to me but ok. He said soon all his money will be going to fixing up a car and kinda pimping it all out so he probably wouldn't have much free time with that, work, bowling, and pool. Later at his house him and Anthony got to talking about cars and what they'd like to do to them and all this and I of course was able to join in on this conversation being the car type of woman that I am. I told Josh that I'm probably the biggest car buff chick you'll ever meet. I can actually help with the paint and bodywork stuff and I would gladly do that because I still enjoy it, I just quit the business because working and living with my parents became too stressful. After all that we watched Poolhall Junkies and that was a pretty good movie, then we kinda watched Stickmen which was another pool movie but I thought it was pretty boring so I was snuggled up on the couch with Josh, had my head on his chest and all nice and comfy and about to fall asleep. I haven't been able to be that comfortable with anyone since Scott. (God I miss him, even just as a friend) I know I'm being selfish in this but I wish Josh would realize that I could make a good girlfriend since I like bowling, playing pool, and cars, and according to him I'm funny and fun to hang around with. But I informed our little group that I will not be doing anything sexual from now on without there being a commitment like strictly dating each other or a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I'm just tired of sticking my heart out there for it to only get crushed yet again. And to me sex is more than just sex, especially since I'm getting older.
Well it's time for some coffee because these sleeping pill make me feel like I have a hangover.